You are on your way out the door for an important business meeting when you get the dreaded call – your dad somehow got past the vigilant staff at the nursing home and fell down several steps. How could a man who can barely shuffle to the bathroom and who forgets how to button his shirt have the necessary stealth and agility to escape from the day room and pass two or three workers on his way to the stairs? As you change your plans, you wonder how much longer your boss will be understanding of your missed meetings, late arrivals and other issues related to your sick parent. And you aren’t even providing home care!

People talk a lot about the cost of medical care, caregivers, day cares and equipment, but there is another very real cost – the careers of family members. I’ve talked before about how nice it is to freelance or have a flexible job, but if you are a lawyer, a vice president of a major corporation, or a sales clerk at the local big box store, you don’t have the same leeway I have. I wonder how many people have been passed over for promotions, have missed out on important projects, or have even lost jobs (Yeah, FMLA sounds super, but it doesn’t help everyone.) because of dealing with constant Alzheimer’s related problems during work hours?

Some people make the decision to put careers first and simply refuse to deal with problems during work hours. They even opt to leave a family member home alone, locked in the house, when the caregiver doesn’t show up. Perhaps they will be lucky and come home to a presentable home and a safe family member, but there is a very real possibility that the house will be ablaze and the Alzheimer’s victim will be trapped inside instead. To me, and to most people who live with an Alzheimer’s patient, this isn’t a solution.

I’d start out by asking my boss for a meeting. If he or she is a decent human being, you may be able to set up some solutions in advance, such as having a few part time or temp workers with very flexible schedules ready to fill in for you if there is an emergency. Making up missed hours by staying later or working on a Saturday may also work, as long as you aren’t in retail. Perhaps your boss will even be willing to let you work from home on days when the caregiver doesn’t make it in or on days when your family member needs to visit a doctor.

Do you have a story about the hidden cost of Alzheimer’s? I’d really like to know how much of a problem it is.

Posted by on 06.16.2008 • Caregiver Support