Have you noticed how many times a child who gives up everything to take care of a parent with Alzheimer’s or dementia is treated with suspicion and anger, while other relatives are welcomed with open arms, even if all they want is access to this month’s Social Security check? I’ve heard so many stories that go something like this:

Mom barged into my room at 3 a.m. screaming that I took her money and her wedding ring and yelled at me to get out of the house. I finally found her money hidden in the sock drawer and picked her wedding ring up off the floor, but she kept insisting I was a thief. The next morning, my sister stopped by to “give me a break” by taking Mom shopping, but I heard her ask Mom if she brought her wallet as they were getting into the car. Sure enough, Mom came back with only a few dollars in her purse and nothing to show for the missing money. She couldn’t stop talking about how nice my sister was, although she kept forgetting who she was and called her “that sweet young girl.”

How frustrating for these caregivers to have to deal with the day in and day out frustrations of Alzheimer’s, only to see the same person who treats them with distrust and screams horrible things at them turn around and shower affection on a family member who borders on criminal.

Yes, the caregiver can take measures to be sure Mom or Dad isn’t continually victimized by other relatives, but most of those measures involve some very emotionally overwhelming activities, like having a beloved parent declared incompetent or trying to get the police involved in the situation.

Posted by on 01.03.2007 • Caregiver Support